Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Director:  Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford, Ray Winstone, Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf, Karen Allen

The fourth adventure featuring Indiana Jones was another of those will they/won't they films which has been rumoured since the completion of the Last Crusade some twenty years ago. Harrison Ford was reported to say if Spielberg had not settled on a story by 2008, it should be left alone for good so, clearly not wanting to miss an opportunity, a David Koepp script based on George Lucas's story was chosen and Indiana Jones's 50's adventure was go. The Russians replace the Germans and the Cold War provides the setting for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, in which Indy is forced to assist the Ruskie's in uncovering the secrets of the legendary skulls and their link to El Dorado, the lost city of gold.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull's first act is certainly the best, Indy is re-introduced as he arrives at Area 51 in the Nevada desert to assist Cate Blanchett's commie tyrant in finding a mummified corpse hidden in a giant warehouse. He's joined by his sidekick Ray Winstone, who quickly becomes another pal who is really working for the other side...or is he...and we're soon watching a typical Indy set piece as he escapes from the Ruskie's clutches. All is well at this point, we've had the hat, the whip and amusing references to old adventures, but then he survives a nuclear blast by hiding inside a fridge.

That disregard for reality sets the tone for the remainder of the film. Instead of an exciting, twisting plot just the right side of unbelievable, we get a boring, linear story line relayed in tedious clumps of incoherent dialogue, all sounding like the archeological equivalent of Star Trek's techno-babble, coupled with the sight of Indy becoming as indestructible as John McClane and a T-1000 combined. When the cast are not speaking the clearly Lucas-penned nonsense, they're taking part in the soulless action sequences. Although sword fighting across two moving vehicles may sound exciting, it just wasn't, and neither was escaping killer ants (really) or wandering around identi-kit sets avoiding clichéd natives.

But none of this is as bad as Harrison Ford's mugging to the camera. Gone was that roguish charm that made the Jones character such a winner, replaced instead by feeble jokes, out-of-character tics - the speech when they get stuck in the quicksand for example - and a total loss of his sense of wonder when things got strange. And they got very strange indeed, as the Crystal Skull belongs to an alien! But none of this fazes Indy as he plods on towards the finale of A.I. which had somehow got stapled over the end of Indy 4's script. Any fearful respect of powers greater than us, which made Raiders more thrilling and believable, was entirely missing from the Scooby-Doo meets the X-files final act.

Aside from Harrison following the plot's megawatt A-B beacons we have John Hurt's gibbering madman, Cate Blanchett's wobbly accented baddie, Karen Allen's throw-away reprise of Marion Ravenwood and Shia LaBeouf's Mutt, whose good performance and first act motorcycle chase - which was the movie's best - was spoiled by his later transformation into Tarzan. Add in a car attacked by monkeys helping our heroes, some less than impressive CGI and spark-free direction from Spielberg and you've got a film which is a crushing disappointment.

It's not to say the film is so awful you cannot sit through it, but expectations have to be kept in check. Don't expect Raiders, the Last Crusade or even Temple of Doom, forget this features a much-loved character and set something like Sahara as the benchmark and you may gain some satisfaction, however if you thought George Lucas should never have picked up a pen again after The Phantom Menace, or would prefer to keep your memories of what has passed clean and unsullied, don't see this. In fact, let's just put this down to experience and pretend it didn't really happen at all.

Mamma Mia!

Director:  Phyllida Lloyd

Starring:  Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgard.

Tom Hanks has become something of a good luck charm for movies related to Greece.  He produced the last Greek smash hit My Big Fat Greek Wedding and is also attached to the forthcoming My Life in Ruins, another comedy from Wedding's writer and star Nia Vardalos.  So it should come as no surprise to see his name as an Executive Producer for Mamma Mia!, which is all set to be another winner.

On the Greek island of Skopelos, Sophie Sheridan (Amanda Seyfried) is preparing for her wedding to Sky (Dominic Cooper) which is to be held at Villa Donna, a guest house owned by her mother (Meryl Streep).  Sophie wants her father, whom she doesn't know, to give her away, and thanks to her mother's diary she gathers three paternal suspects, all of which she invites to the wedding without her mother's knowledge.  Now all she has to do is work out which one is her real father in time for the big day.

Musicals always require some suspension of disbelief, but for this, you need to forget everything you know; in fact, it's best to forget you live on planet Earth, as Mamma Mia will take you to a place where extras are the chorus line, James Bond sings, large groups of people appear from nowhere - including the sea - and the music of ABBA provides meaning to lives.  Sound ridiculous?  It is.  Worried the story line can't support a 100-plus minute runtime?  It can't.  Think you should run as far away as possible?  No, because if a laugh, a smile and an opportunity to leave your world behind sounds good; join the orderly queue outside the cinema now as Mamma Mia! may be nonsense, but it's enjoyable nonsense.

All Mamma Mia!'s problems are forgiven thanks to two things.  The first is Meryl Streep's wonderful performance as Donna Sheridan.  She flings her heart and soul into every moment of screentime and every song she sings, but best of all is that she looks like she is honestly having fun, something which gives her character a level of realness unexpected in such a fantastical film.  The second saviour is ABBA, whose songs make up not only the soundtrack, but much of the film's dialogue too.  You have to be hard of heart not to enjoy these classics, each of which are accompanied by decent but non-showy choreography and plenty of background fun, with Dancing Queen being a clear standout.

Mamma Mia's fast-paced and fun first act is the highlight of the film as all the characters jostle for position prior to the wedding, then things slow down to a crawl during the second act but improve slightly towards the finale.  The film just doesn't have enough of a plot to sustain itself and would have benefitted from being a good 15 minutes shorter, with the entirely out-of-place Take A Chance beach number with its sex references and Streep's Winner Takes It All (which is great, but just slows the film even more) being prime candidates for the chop.  

Then there is the issue of the male cast members.  Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgard and Pierce Brosnan look occasionally embarrassed, often confused and sound uniformly bad.  Colin Firth holds his own, or a tune a least,  but this will probably end up as their only opportunity to 'let loose' on screen.  Donna's friends Rosie (Julie Walters) and Tanya (Christine Baranski) round out the female cast as mysteriously, Sophie's bridesmaids practically disappear after the first half.   But Rosie and Tanya merely appear to be tedious versions of Eddie and Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, characters which no amount of 'wackiness' can save.

Make no mistake though, Mamma Mia!'s destiny as a massive cult hit is one which has been carefully manufactured.  Everything needed to make this a favourite on the audience participation circuit in the future has been included, right down to egging viewers on to join in the fun.  Although it's hugely entertaining for the first half, filled with ace music, beautiful locations and a high energy central performance, you just can't shake the feeling it's all one big cynical marketing exercise, which is rather unfortunate.  

Still, the best thing advice anyone should give regarding seeing Mamma Mia! is to ignore all this cynicism and just go and enjoy it for what it is - a celebration of some of most memorable songs ever recorded.  Be warned though, if ABBA makes your toes curl, it won't be for you at all.